Thursday, February 17, 2011

There's No Place Like Home

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you” - Christian Morganstern

People seem to think there are a lot of definitions of “home.” I looked up quotes on the word “home” and came up with all kinds of stuff from:

Home, the spot of earth supremely blest, A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest” (Robert Montgomery)
to 
Home is where you can scratch where it itches.” 
My definition of “home” is still under construction, but I know that I’ve had many homes in my life, some that are gone and some that still exist. But something about homes that I’ve realized is that they change, despite what some might say. They change because of the people who are in them and they change because the people in them change too. And so, there is a kind of tragedy in homes to me because you can’t hold on to them like you can a teddy bear or a photograph. They slip away almost as unnoticeably as they are formed. One day, you are talking to someone or thinking about a memory and realize that that home is gone and another one has been created in its place. The worst feeling is being “homeless” and I’m not talking about walking around with your belongings in a shopping cart. This is feeling like you have nowhere to turn that’s safe, nowhere to rest your head with peace in your heart and someone who loves you near by, ready and willing to help you with anything should you need it. I haven’t felt like this very often in my life (if ever, really), but it’s not a good feeling to have.

Anyway, since I’m getting married soon, I was thinking about how that will change my “home.” Up until now, everything about my home has changed numerous times, except for the fact that I was in it. But now, everything about my home can change except for the fact that I will be in it and Quinn will be in it. I’m excited to have another permanent addition to my home--and one that I love so much. But it got me thinking about all the homes I’ve had in my life and I wanted to write them down because I’m grateful for all of them.

First and longest lasting is my parent’s house. I spent the first 18 years of my life in this home with my sister, my mom and my dad. This is still one of my homes as far as I’m concerned, and always will be thankfully. I love my family and owe a lot of who I am to them. 

Erin's Graduation 2006

When I moved to Utah, I gained more homes than I could possibly ask for. My first home in Utah was probably my dorm room with my roommate Amy. Amy was so sweet and I loved living with her! I could be myself and relax and I met some wonderful people that year, including Abby, Mykle, Megan, and Briahnna that made me feel like I was at home too. Even though I wouldn’t do freshman year over again, if I did, I would definitely do it with the same people.

Deseret Towers 2006

Then we moved to the Riv and that was a good little home for me too. It was fun living with Mykle, Megan, and Briahnna. They were all so sweet and I felt like we could be ourselves at home and we were all friends so it was great.

Then Sammy and Susan moved in and we made our own little home for the next two years. Oh, the days of Bathroom Holla. I think about all the good times living with Sammy and Susan on a daily basis. I wish we could somehow all live together still even though Sam’s married and I will be soon too and Sue goes to the U now... 

Apartment Christmas 2008

One of my other favorite homes was Mallory--yes, she gets her own category. We only lived together for two weeks technically, but whenever we are together, I feel completely at home. Let’s add on to this the entire Phillips family. They are the best and make me feel like part of the family every time I see them. They are my family away from my family. :) 

California, Summer 2010

This might seem strange, but I count Los Hermanos as one of my homes. A dysfunctional home? Yes. One that I am okay with being done with? Absolutely. But, I made some of the best friends I’ve ever had there and I spent a lot of time working there for 2 ½ years. I will always look back on working there fondly even though it was also not so fun sometimes. I just had to give it a shout out.

Tessa's Farewell, Summer 2009

Now, I live in the cutest little house with Kate, Lisa, and Leah (and Hilary, Erin, Savy, Nick, Big Wave, Andrew, and Quinn). I love our little home. :)

Sometime in January 2011

And I’m so excited for my new home with Quinton! :) He’s the best and I couldn’t ask for a better permanent roommate. But I will miss all the other homes that I’ve had over the years too.

Christmas Break 2010

2 comments:

mal said...

que the tears... I miss you too

Susie said...

That is the best picture we have of all three of us. I think about our fun times a lot too!! Definitely great memories for that time in our lives! I am so excited and happy for you.

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