Thursday, February 25, 2010

Suspicious People

Today, my blog post is inspired by a curious fellow who frequents the Center for Teaching and Learning, my place of work. I know his real name, but for the sake of anonymity, we'll call him Tyrone.

Tyrone first showed up a few months ago while I was working at the front desk. He leaned over the counter and stuck his nose all up in my business. (If any of you have ever worked as a receptionist or hostess--and I have done both--you realize just how annoying this is. People for some reason feel entitled to look at what you're doing because they are talking to you. THIS IS NOT OK. If you go into a restaurant and just have to see what the hostess is writing as she takes your name down, you are one of these people and should seriously consider changing your ways as quickly as possible. Also, if, like Tyrone, you feel the need to see what the receptionist is doing on her computer when you go into a place of business, reconsider your feelings. You can probably get just as much accomplished by not being a nosey SOB.) I'm already about to blow a fuse after he carefully examines my facebook page (because that just happened to be what I was doing), and his reason for gracing me with his presence was in no way helpful in his the efforts to un-annoy me.

Tyrone wants to "be involved with the CTL."

"Ummm.. what? OK."

Apparently, every now and then people come in and want to be involved in some way, which is understandable. Weird, but understandable. After all, we do a lot of work that effects students. But Tyrone wants to LIVE here. He's that interested. He shows up almost every time I'm at the front desk to chat with Russ. (For those of you who don't know Russ, he is better known as Pres. Osguthorpe. He's the general sunday school president for the church and he is also the director of the CTL, two very big and time consuming jobs.) Russ doesn't have infinite amounts of time to spend talking to people like Tyrone. And, while Tyrone waits for Russ, he asks me random questions about my job and classes I take at BYU. Weirdie.

Now, I must say that I should probably be following the example of the general authority sitting five yards away from me and be patient with Tyrone, but I think he is rude and highly inconsiderate. However, my level of patience for this man is irrelevant. He has become the talk of the office. Everyone knows who he is and wishes him gone because he's a time waster and he's odd. In short, he is a suspicious person.

What do I mean by that? I mean that I suspect him of being up to something at all times, I suspect that he's not all there upstairs, I suspect that some therapy would do him good, I suspect that he doesn't realize what he's doing, I suspect that he's pen pals with Flava Flave, I suspect that he's auditioned for Parental Control on MTV and his talent was making music by playing his armpit hairs like a violin, I suspect that he thinks he's some other race than he really is, and/or I suspect he's an alien.

Suspicious people in my life:

1. The guy who sits in the lobby bothering me about my job (Tyrone)
2. The incessant facebook commenter (who feels the need to comment on EVERYTHING despite the fact that he/she is not funny or interesting)
3. Backwards walking girl
4. Guy at work who plants farts everywhere (everyone knows it's you)
5. Little Ceasar's pizza dancer (some suspicious people are pleasant and welcome... but still suspicious)
6. Party girl
7. The tool in the front row of PGP
... and so many more.

Who are the suspicious people in your life?


Elise said...


A. I hope I am not the facebook commentator on your page that you don't find funny &

B. I know who farts at work. Everyone knows about "him"..

B-Tuck said...

of course it's not you, elise! you crack me up and all your comments are welcome.

Shannon said...

Ugh so annoying. I just don't have a high tolerance for weirdies. People who spill intimate family details or health issues within 5 minutes or less of knowing you are my main pet peeve. I mean, seriously there's something wrong with you if you do that. Sorry you have such an annoyance at work.

c. johnson said...

this was a good post. good work. i'm a huge advocate of the personal bubble. intruding on the bubble is just not ok--especially when it's done in a creepy fashion.

Theresa said...

Aw, this guy sounds awful! Would it be un-Christlike to have security escort him off the premises?

I won't know if this constitutes "suspicious" but one of the mailroom dudes in our office constantly sings at the top of his lungs. I'm across the hall, but the vents make it possible for us to hear every stupid song he sings. He must be listening to KIIS FM in there. We've joked around with him, calling him American Idol, but, unfortunately, he seems to be taking it as a compliment instead of the intended subtle hint to STOP!

Leelee said...

I love President Osguthorpe! He was the mission president over the mission that my home ward is in! He's awesome.

Suspicious people in my life...
1) you-know-who (talked about at lunch on Saturday)

2) guy at work who feels the need to ask out literally every single girl in the office

3) actually, maybe there aren't as many suspicious people in my life as I thought. I think I'm just consumed by the thought of the first person so much that I feel he's actually taking two people's places.

Anyway, I love your posts Becky. They make me laugh. :)

Natalie said...

my brother has eaten all of the suspicious people in my life along with a record 7 pancakes in 1 minute. we love it when you come to hang out. keep up the good work.

Andrew said...

I LOVE the Little Ceasar's Pizza Dancer.


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