It's All Good

I have been incredibly busy lately.. ever since school started. At first, I FREAKED OUT a little bit because I was really just overwhelmed. It's hard to go from being able to play whenever you want and having money to do so to having just enough money to get by and having absolutely no time for anything but school and work, especially for someone as fond of playing as I am. It's taken me about three weeks to get back into the swing of things, which doesn't seem like that much, but when every second of your day is pretty much scheduled (or at least it should be), that's a long time. But, I think I'm finally doing alright. I will have been able to work a full work week and get most of my homework done by the time the week is over and I'm pretty pumped about it. I think with my old age I've become more responsible, or maybe I just realized that I'm not as lazy as everyone said I was back in high school so I stopped living up (or down) to thier expectations and started actually accomplishing things.

Speaking of accomplishing things, I think I actually might do something with my life! I know, right? Weird. But I think I will. I actually applied to my program finally and had an interview that I'm pretty sure went well since she really didn't ask me any questions... just explained the program to me and said I did well in my video and that she didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get in. Woohoo! I'm gonna teach high school!! Well.. I guess I still might not get in, but it's looking good so far. I don't know why I'm so excited about teaching a bunch of difficult kids how to read and write but I really really am. I can't wait to be doing work that I actually enjoy and that I feel is meaningful. Since my debut on the working scene as Chuck E. Cheese, I guess I just never really actually thought I'd be doing something that I wanted to.. but it looks like I'm actually going to get there and that's a pretty sweet feeling. I might actually get out of debt and be able to pay for my own life too.. which would be just fantastic. I know that teachers' salaries aren't the biggest, but they're definitely bigger than the tips I get at Los Hermanos so I'm pretty stoked about my first paycheck as a person with an actual career. Granted, that's not going to be for another two years, but still. I'm excited.

So, the busy-ness is just fine. A sense of accomplishment is definitely worth it to me. And, I've noticed a pattern in my adjusting to new situations. I tend to freak out and then become ridiculously and embarrassingly comtemplative and then work my way into a state of complete happiness when I realize that I'm doing my best and whether it works or not, I'm learning and growing and life is, at its most basic and most complex levels, very very good.