Man I love life. And I love the Gospel even more. As I've come to find out, life is not always what you think it will be. And here is yet another example of that. I've been preparing for a mission for the last four months and I finished my papers and sent them into my bishop and was SOOOOO excited to go serve the Lord because wow! What an amazing opportunity! And then my bishop was out of town when I was supposed to get my interview.. and didn't return my calls for a week and a half. And I'm incredibly grateful for the time that the situation gave me to think. Right before when my bishop's interview was supposed to happen, I started feeling really anxious about leaving. Normal, right? Right. So I tried to brush it off and continue preparing and being excited. But as it turns out, the Lord knows better than I do and after quite the intense "finding out" process, I realized that I need to stay here and that serving a full-time mission is just not what I'm supposed to be doing right now. So I'm sorry for the lack of excitment this brings and the lost anticipation of where I'm gonna go, but I feel better about this decision than I ever did about going and so there ya go.
I've been thrown yet another curve ball. Thank goodness. Because without all the curveballs, life would not only be much less exciting, but much less fulfilling as well.
I'm sure that the Lord has more than one reason for me staying here, but I have yet to find out what they are, and in the meantime, enjoying life has been a bit of a challenge, but it's getting easier quickly.
I am grateful that I don't have to say goodbye to all of my fantastic friends and my family for a year and a half though and I do have a pretty stellar life. So I think the way I feel can best be summarized in the words of the ever popular and ever wonderful U2: "One love. One blood. One life you got to do what you should. One life with eachother sisters and brothers. One life but we're not the same. We get to carry eachother, carry eachother."