Friday, September 25, 2009

You Made Him Love You

So you just had a bad day. Lots of working, lots of school, not enough sleep last night, and you really just need to take a load off and watch some TV. So that's exactly what you start doing when you get home. Then you get a text from some boy (or girl.. however you roll... this is an equal opportunity blog) who you think is pretty cool but doesn't give you butterflies or anything. He wants to do something.... at 11 o'clock at night.

You think to yourself, "I've been so busy lately and I've been promising him we'll hang out and I need a break. So why the heck not?" So, you text him back saying.. "Yeah I could probably do something. What do you want to do?" Then come the arbitrary responses such as, "Well we could go get ice cream or see a movie," which will inevitably result in you saying something like, "Well I'm really tired," or "Everything is closed, isn't it?" which ultimately leads you to the conclusion that the only thing to do is watch a movie at your place.

Congratulations. You two have successfully done the dance-around-actually-asking-for-it booty call confirmation. So now what? Well, what will most likely follow is you throwing on some last minute makeup and body spray (so as to not look like you're all dressed up for a movie night in but also enough to make you somewhat desirable) and waiting casually on the couch reading a book or getting some last minute studying in until that knock on the door sends a thrill through your stomach. (Now, this thrill seems at first like your excited about seeing this boy, but really is just a physical manifestation of your fear of how the night will unfold and the almost inevitable awkwardness that will ensue shortly. You've realized in this moment that there's really no turning back. This is going to happen. He is coming in in less than thirty seconds.) So up you get and you let the poor boy in. You exchange pleasantries, asking about how the homework is coming or how the day went and then decide upon a movie.

Now here is where the waltz gets a little bit more tricky. Whoever has the responsibility of putting in the DVD and getting it started (probably you since it's your apartment) is stuck with sitting down second. Bad spot to find yourself in. See, if you are the lucky one and get to sit down first, then you can pick any spot on the couch (if you're smooth, you'll pick somewhere in the middle so that the other person has a hard time avoiding you and if you're awkward you'll cling to one side because you really don't know what to do with yourself here... you're just there to watch a movie right?... right). It is then the responsibility of the second one to sit down to set the mood for the evening, or at least determine how far one or both of you have to go to get to where you really want to be. And, depending on the level of experience of both parties, this could take the entire movie.

Phew. You sat down about a foot away from him. Body language does the talking for the rest of the evening. Loaded, tense, and incredibly awkward body language. The part in between sitting on the couch and getting your cuddle on can go a number of different ways, some much more uncomfortable (both mentally and physically) than others. Ultimately, through all the shoving, tickling, strategically placed hands on legs and arms, and unnecessary giggling, you will end up cuddling. Cuddling positions is a topic for another day, and it is a topic that volumes could be written about in and of itself. So I'll spare you... for now.

Then come what I so fondly refer to as "the moves". You know that you probably shouldn't use your moves because you know this guy kinda likes you, but all guys want is nookie right? So no harm done. You bust out some of your semi-awesome moves (it's a well known fact that you save the best moves for later) and he tries out some of what are probably his best or almost best moves on you and what it leads to is either a lovely night of cuddling or a sweet make out sesh. For some, it's usually cuddling. So others, it's the latter. For some, it can lead to all sorts of inappropriateness. We'll not assign names to those three categories of people.

Nice. At least someone probably got what they wanted. The evening has been a success. Now onto the goodbyes. Goodbyes can be very telling. The generally accepted booty call goodbye is a short kiss or hug or simply getting up and leaving while the other person falls asleep on the couch. With this in mind, it's not surprising that you are a little shocked when you go to give him a hug goodbye and he gives you a kiss... on the forehead.

You know this is a little weird and not in keeping with the Booty Call General Handbook rules, but you brush it off and tell yourself that he's probably new at this and doesn't know the implications of his actions. So, your lover-for-the-night leaves and you snuggle up in bed for a good night's sleep, only to be woken up five minutes later by your phone going off. You roll over and check it and what do we have here? A text from lover boy saying something deliciously conducive to gagging such as, "Good night, sweet cheeks! :)" or "Sweet dreams, beautiful." You're a little annoyed but think it's sweet that he thought you would be hurt if he didn't send you an after make out text so you once again brush it off, put the phone down, and roll back over.

You do have sweet dreams, until in the morning you wake up to your phone singing that sweet symphony of love that is the alert of a text message from your new found cuddle buddy. He wishes you a good morning and says he hopes to see you again soon and it's then that you can no longer deny it and you come to the realization that... you made him love you. He's been thinking about you all night and basking in the glory of his new found love. Nice work. Too bad you were tired last night and kind of actually regret that last minute hang out come morning. But how do you tell him that?

This sad tale has been told to me too many times is the wonderful land of Provo and I'm afraid that I've encountered it myself on more than one occasion. There are so many of these poor little precious BYU souls getting a little too excited about a last minute cuddle fest or accidental make out (yes, sometimes it happens by accident even without alcohol). I've been thinking about these situations lately even though it's been a while since I've really been in one and I've decided that it's really difficult to avoid them. Of course you could make the "right" decision in the first place and tell your dear friend that you don't want to hang out with him at 11 o'clock, but sometimes you accidentally leave your common sense at school and don't pick it up again until the next day. Everybody does it at some point, and that's OK. You just have to be prepared to deal with the consequences.

In a normal society, these consequences would probably be something like pregnancy or STDs, but here in this magical land where all the naivety of the world congregates, the consequence is that you made him love you. Good luck breaking his poor little heart and finding someone who has actually read the handbook next time.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

It's All Good

I have been incredibly busy lately.. ever since school started. At first, I FREAKED OUT a little bit because I was really just overwhelmed. It's hard to go from being able to play whenever you want and having money to do so to having just enough money to get by and having absolutely no time for anything but school and work, especially for someone as fond of playing as I am. It's taken me about three weeks to get back into the swing of things, which doesn't seem like that much, but when every second of your day is pretty much scheduled (or at least it should be), that's a long time. But, I think I'm finally doing alright. I will have been able to work a full work week and get most of my homework done by the time the week is over and I'm pretty pumped about it. I think with my old age I've become more responsible, or maybe I just realized that I'm not as lazy as everyone said I was back in high school so I stopped living up (or down) to thier expectations and started actually accomplishing things.

Speaking of accomplishing things, I think I actually might do something with my life! I know, right? Weird. But I think I will. I actually applied to my program finally and had an interview that I'm pretty sure went well since she really didn't ask me any questions... just explained the program to me and said I did well in my video and that she didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get in. Woohoo! I'm gonna teach high school!! Well.. I guess I still might not get in, but it's looking good so far. I don't know why I'm so excited about teaching a bunch of difficult kids how to read and write but I really really am. I can't wait to be doing work that I actually enjoy and that I feel is meaningful. Since my debut on the working scene as Chuck E. Cheese, I guess I just never really actually thought I'd be doing something that I wanted to.. but it looks like I'm actually going to get there and that's a pretty sweet feeling. I might actually get out of debt and be able to pay for my own life too.. which would be just fantastic. I know that teachers' salaries aren't the biggest, but they're definitely bigger than the tips I get at Los Hermanos so I'm pretty stoked about my first paycheck as a person with an actual career. Granted, that's not going to be for another two years, but still. I'm excited.

So, the busy-ness is just fine. A sense of accomplishment is definitely worth it to me. And, I've noticed a pattern in my adjusting to new situations. I tend to freak out and then become ridiculously and embarrassingly comtemplative and then work my way into a state of complete happiness when I realize that I'm doing my best and whether it works or not, I'm learning and growing and life is, at its most basic and most complex levels, very very good.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Heathcliff

..is the name of my new fish. Pictures coming soon. He's sexy. As sexy as a fish can be. And I love him. He's the closest thing to a child the universe will let me have because all I have to do is feed him once or twice a day and try not to tap on the glass, which is clearly all I'm capable of. Granted, me and Sammy have killed three fish in the past (two died for lack of oxygen and one we neglected over Christmas break). Oops. But I think this time will be different. I've spent the last year or two maturing a great deal so hopefully I'll be able to care for this little guy and give him all that he needs in life. I hope he can tell how much I love him. I'm sure he can. He must know. There's no way he couldn't. Maybe I'll just bring his little bowl over to the computer and let him read this. We'll see what happens.

But, I'm sure he realizes that I love him because I saved him from the horrible fish keeper at Walmart. He was living in a little 16 oz. tub thing and swimming amongst all his own poop. Also, the mean fish guy scared the crap out of me while I was tapping on the glass. He came out of nowhere whilst I was innocently trying to get the little fishies to move around with my love taps and said, "Do you know what happens when you tap on the glass?!" and proceeded to show me a bag of five or six dead fish. I ran and hid behind Michael. Not one of my proudest moments, but that fish guy was a JERK and I reverted to my girlie ways in a moment of desperation. That guy was a little too passionate about the fish he kept. Another example of this was when the other old guy that works at Walmart (there are only two) came to help us with the fish and was going to let Michael get his own fish out but old guy number one comes running and screaming (slight exaggeration) around the corner shouting, "You can't do that sir! You know better!" to the other old guy. Then old guy number one says to us, "The only way he'd be any dumber is if he were bigger!" What a bastard! (Don't worry, I don't get it either.)

A day later, my fish is living happily on my entertainment center despite my tapping and he's happy to be free of the weirdies at Walmart. Because I don't care what you say, all the weirdies work at Walmart. It's one of those things we don't like to talk about but that we all know. That and Dairy Queen. (Yes, I'm aware that one day I will be out of work and forced to work at either Walmart or Dairy Queen or both because of that comment, but it's a sacrfice I'm willing to make.)
My current jam is: Best I Ever Had by Drake (I recommend the edited version if you have small children or Mormons around).

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Don't You WANT to Get Married?

Sammy and Chase got married! Weddings are the best. They're fun because a ton of people get to hang out and celebrate, but they're less awesome because the single people attending suddenly become targets for the next wedding. I, unfortunately, was the bridesmaid who took the brunt of that because two of them were married and the other one just started her mission papers. I don't mind being set up on blind dates. I've been through worse things. I don't mind people teasing me about dating people blah blah blah. But I must admit that it has started to bother me that people say things like, "Oh my gosh, 22 is so young. You're young and pretty. You'll find someone." This sounds like a compliment, but you have to realize that people tell me this ALL THE TIME and I don't say anything about my having an opinion otherwise. These comments are completely unwarranted. We could be talking about pudding or fish sticks and someone will tell me how young I am and that one day I'll find someone to love and marry. One day it will happen for me. The problem here is that if they feel they need to TELL me that I'm young and will find someone, then they are assuming that I don't believe this or that somehow I'm feeling like the future is looking bleak.

I've taken to telling people I'm a lesbian (not true) when they ask me why I'm not dating anyone because I'm so sick of the question. WHY am I not dating anyone?! Do I have to be dating someone to be normal? Do I have to just date someone to be dating someone? I haven't found someone that I really wanted to date in a long time. I'm fine with it. But that doesn't mean I love to be reminded of it constantly. It's like people feel that I'm doing something wrong because I'm not dating anyone. Well, world, I appologize. I'm doing the universe an injustice apparently because I have no desire to date someone that I'm not excited about. Yes, I want to get married. Yes, I want to date somebody. But I do NOT want to date to date or marry to marry. I want to be happy about who I date and marry and I want to have a happy and healthy marriage that will continue to make me as well as my spouse happy forever. That seems to be easy to come by for those who found it early, but it's a difficult thing to do right and I am absolutely determined to do it right. That makes me a little bit picky, which I guess makes me mean or shallow or something, but I don't give a crap what it makes me. I wouldn't want to be with someone that I can't really love with all my heart because that's not even fair to them.

Also, I get crap STILL for the people that I've dated in the past. Not that there's anything wrong with them, but admittedly, I tend to let people walk all over me, especially when I care about them, and I have gotten screwed a few times for that reason. So, I'm trying to be more careful about who I date. But I guess that means I'm not trying. So it seems that no matter what I choose or don't choose to do in my dating life, someone isn't going to be happy. Good thing it's none of their business! So, a word to the wise, don't be that person that walks around patronizing single people. They are actually fully functional, normal people for the most part, just trying to do the best they can to end up where they want to be in life.
Disclaimer: Most of my angst about this subject isn't a result of the wedding. Actually, very little if any is. It was just the most recent thing. These feelings have been boiling up for a while now. I never thought this kind of thing would irritate me so much, but I have just been amazed by the amount of people who have asked me about my dating life in the past year. I can't wait until I'm 26 and still not married. My sympathy for "older" singles living in Provo has grown quite a bit as of late. Not because they're not married, but because I'm sure they get crap for it all the time.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Frustrating

Ever since I ran the half marathon last Saturday, my right leg has been killing me. It's gotten better slowly but I feel like everytime it almost heals, I do something else to aggitate it and it ends up continuing to hurt for another couple days. For instance, I wanted to go trail running this morning (and running every other day of the week) but I've been frantically moving and cleaning for the past couple days and haven't been able to give my leg much of a rest and so all the healing that took place, making me think that I would be feeling good enough to go running today was bascially reversed and I'm back to where I was a few days ago.

Now, don't feel too bad for me. The pain isn't unbarable, but it's enough to make running even a mile surprisingly painful and at random points during the day, it will just hurt a ton more than others. I haven't gone this long without running in months and it's driving me crazy!! I feel like I'm getting completely out of shape and will have to start all over again. This is terribly frustrating. Also, I'm pretty much addicted to running and so I feel like I'm not getting my fix and therefore have been slightly grumpier than normal and to top it all off, I just naturally feel like a fat lard because I haven't been getting the exercise in that my body is used to.

I guess I'm not the first person in the world to have an injury slow them down athletically, but this is a first for me. I hurt my other leg a couple months ago but it healed a lot faster than this one is. I only had to not run for a day or two. But this is beastly. It refuses to leave me alone.

Another frustrating element of my life right now is the fact that I have to be homeless for two weeks even though I've paid my rent for the entire month (I'm pretty sure.. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure.) Why does BYU housing do this? It's ridiculous! Where are people supposed to go for two weeks?! Luckily I have plenty of places to go, but what if I didn't have nice friends? I would have to fly home and get a storage unit or live out of my car even though I'm not homeless! Like I said, I pay rent. I just feel like this is absolutely ridiculous. I know there are plenty of other people that agree with me, so why is this still a problem? I know for a FACT they don't clean those blasted apartments after we move out. It's a bunch of lies and housing is poopilious. Anyway, those are my frustrations. Sorry, this kind of turned into a venting blog rather than an entertaining one, but I think I'm just extra grumpy because mal bop gets to be out trail running whilst I sit on my lazy bum for the next couple hours and all the moving is partially to blame. :(

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Silent Running

It's been approximately a year and half (gross exaggeration) since I last posted and I feel like a bad parent neglecting their child. Especially since I've gotten so many generous comments in the past about the caliber of my blogging, which by the way I greatly appreciate. Instead of updating you on everything in my life, which let me tell you would be priceless literature right now, I'm going to spare some dear friends the embarrassment and skip straight to the awesomeness of the past week and the chaos of the coming week.

Awesomeness:

Me and Susan ran a half marathon! This was one of my new year's resolutions believe it or not, which I have actually been following through on. But boy was it a red letter day, as Susan would put it. I was super nervous about it and thought I would get discouraged really easily, but to my surprise and delight, I totally wowed myself! Not to brag, but I'm gonna brag. I got 1:49:21 and my goal was to just get under two hours which I wasn't even sure that I was capable of. Granted, this was as Liz put it, "The easiest half marathon in the WORLD," but it was also my very first and the first time I've ever run that far, so I'm going to make an executive decision and say that those two things cancel each other out and we can safely count this as a legit half marathon.

It started out with me and Sue waking up at 4:15 in the morning and driving to the Riverwoods where we got on the first bus to South Fork where we proceeded to sit freezing our behinds off for about two hours. We sat on a bench when we first got there and were joined shortly by the two oldest tools I've ever met. Not that they were particularly old, but generally I think of a tool as a young and full of himself idiotic man. These interesting men were probably about 45-48. (I secretly hope they were much younger and one day read this and take a small but solid shot to their egos.) They talked about all the sexy awesome things they had done in thier lives and how last year at St. George, they were "not only the most attractive men, but also the ones with the best form and thigh muscles." That may not be an exact quote. But what was the most exciting for them was the fact that everyone was lined up for one porta potty when there were "like fifty right over there. Don't they know?!" That is an exact quote. Anyway, it's difficult for me to describe the way these men made us feel, partly because it was mostly the way they said things that was annoying and partly because it was five in the morning and I wasn't at the point where I could tolerate douchebaggery quite yet. Once the race started, it was party time. I LOVED it! The running felt good instead of painful, and I slapped the one part of the trail that was uphill in the face. It was also a lot of fun because there were a lot of people I knew there and we were cheering each other on. The last mile was death. But I made it through and am overall very happy with the day. It was a lot of fun and I'm totally doing it again!

Chaos:

Sammy and Chase are getting married. AWESOME, but busy. I need to get my bridesmaid outfit together and buy some presents and such. Also, we're moving out/in/all around the week before and after the wedding and moving is my favorite. (It's not really my favorite.) But, I do tend to be happy when I'm busy so I've been pretty pumped about life lately because I don't have time to be emo in the slightest. I'm excited for school to start too. It'll be stressful but it'll feel good to be being productive and learning and such. Woohoo!! Bring it on, chaos. Bring. It. On.

Title:

"Silent Running" is an appropriate title for this post because I talked about running. But, it's also my jam right now. It's by Mike + the Mechanics and I suggest you all take a walk down memory lane, or as the case may be, create some new memories while listening to it.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Life After...

I just got back from a week at Lake Powell last week and it was like OMG SO FUN!!! But really, it was way fun! And I totally miss it. But it got me thinking about life after Powell.. or in other words, life after something really good. You go do this awesome thing and have so much fun and then you come back to life and work and your normal everyday. How dreadful, right?! It reminds me of how much it sucks when you break up with someone. You have this person to be with you and share your life with for however long and then all of a sudden they're not there and you have to face everything on your own again. That just seems kind of devestating. So, even though I realize it's not that bad being on my own since I've been single for a substantial amount of time now, I can definitely see how breaking up is so hard. But back to Powell... I'm just about recovered at this point. It's been almost a week since I got back and I'm having a good time just living my normal life again but it was like coming off a drug there for a while. I was grumpy at work.. mainly because I had to be at work instead of out on a boat, not because there was anything wrong with work. I was definitely going through withdrawals and to top it off all my friends picked up boyfriends at the same time! Sad news.. poor little me was all alone in the world for a couple days. How depressing, huh? My life is so hard.

Anyway, now that the drugs are almost completely out of my system and I can breathe in the regular world again, I'm feeling it again. And guess what?!! It's SUMMER!!! The most awesome time of the year, especially when you live somewhere like Provo where snow puts a blanket of sadness on the valley for 8 months of the year. But for the next three to four months, we have sunshine and pool basketball and floating the provo river and hiking and all sorts of other happiness so I'm pumped to enjoy it. So I guess life after Powell isn't so bad.. or life after break ups or after the end of other really awesome things.. it just takes some getting used to. So, if you just did something awesome or a really great relationship just came to an end or you just moved away from your favorite person or place, this too shall pass. Your dependence on the drugs, whatever they are, will go away, and you'll realize that there is so much fun and important shiz out there for you to do and you'll go do it.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Fly Boi

WOOOOOOO!!!! Today was my last day of classes for the semester and I'm PUMPED for summer! Despite the fact that it's supposed to snow on wednesday, life is good. My grades look promising so far for the semester too, which is a good feeling. I still have two finals to take, but I should do fairly well on them so I'm not too worried about it. I'm taking a trip home to California from April 29th-May 4th and I'm excited for the break and to spend some time with my family even though I really don't love flying. I should have driven instead but the plane ticket was so cheap and the airline so wonderful, I just couldn't help myself.

And here is where you all find something out about me that you may not have known before: I am a walking advertisement for Jet Blue Airlines. Jet Blue does make it so that I can have "happy jetting." Not only do they offer the lowest prices I've found anywhere on flights, but they also fly into Long Beach Airport, which is the cutest airport I've ever seen. Low prices tend to be more exciting to people though, so we'll address that for a moment. I bought tickets to fly home at $49 one way. That's incredible! Not long ago, they had a special on flights from San Fran to NYC for $15!! I'm not even kidding. So, now you're thinking, "Hmmm.. this can't be as good as it sounds. The planes must be tiny or cramped and I'll probably be smashed in between the armpit of a really fat smelly guy and an 85 year-old's knitting bag that smells strongly of ipecac and peppermint the whole time, while I try desperately to watch Cheaper by the Dozen on the smallest screen ever invented four rows in front of me!" But, and I'm sure this is to your delight and surprise, you are thinking wrong. On your flight with Jet Blue, you will be seated in a spacious and comfortable leather arm chair with plenty of leg room and your own personal television screen right in front of you. All you have to do is plug in your headphones and change the channel to your favorite VH1 reality show and you're good to go for the next however many hours it takes you to get where you're going. A little chilly? Simply reach up and turn off the air vent above your seat. Feel like getting some reading in? There's a reading light just for you. Just reach up and make it happen. If I haven't already convinced you to fly Jet Blue whenever possible, please take into consideration the delicious beverages and snacks offered on every flight. You won't get the little half-cans of soda and no flight attendant will tell you you can't have more chips if you want more chips. Your snack selection is unlimited. And for those of you who get a little lonesome on plane rides, they offer a selection of spirits to help you lift your own spirits for a reasonable price. Happy jetting, America!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

High School

It's been a while since my last blog so I'll catch you all up on the happenings...

I've been a total sicky for the past week. It comes and goes and comes and goes but it mostly just comes and I'm all stocked up on Dayquil and Nyquil and I've got a supply of cough drops as well. I've still been working though because that's just what I do and staying at home all day drives me crazy. Besides the fact that everyone else at work is sick too and so I have to cover shifts all over the place because I'm not as sick as some other people. I have really started to feel better though and thanks to a very kind coworker who shares his meds with me, my congestion has subsided for the time being. Other than that, things are going well. School is nearing an end for the semester and I will not be taking classes spring or summer like I had planned because dun dun dun...

I'm changing my major! That's right boys and girls, I will be staying at BYU for AT LEAST TWO MORE YEARS!!! "Wait, hasn't she been there for four already?" Yes, that's right. I will spend at least six years of my life in Provo, which of all places in the world to live isn't the worst. But let's be honest, it isn't the best either. The announcement isn't as shocking as I've made it seem, though. I'm changing my major from English to English Teaching, which just adds a ton of classes, but I'll also graduate with a teaching certificate, which is good to have if one wants to teach. I do have to apply to the program though so if I don't get in, then it's back to English for me, but I hope I do despite the extra schooling I'll have to endure. I just realized that I really do want to teach those bratty little high schoolers, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Also, I got to hang out with my aunt Mandy and my beautiful cousins and their signifcant others this last weekend and that was wonderful. Rachel's little baby is the cutest baby in the whole world I'm pretty sure. So that was pretty much the highlight of my week. Other than that, work is good, school is good, life is good, and I'm currently trying to figure out when I can get home to California because I think it's about time for a visit. :)

Friday, February 27, 2009

The Name Game

1.YOUR REAL NAME
Rebecca (Becky) Ann Tucker

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and father's middle names)
Ann David

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Glenn Claire

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Tucre

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Red Dog

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Ann Placentia

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Blue V Coke

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Reer

9.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name, current street name)
Randi University

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Goldie Cornell

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Becizzle

12. YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Rollie

14. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume, fav candy)
Beyonce Milk Duds

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