Summer.... I Miss You

Well, school finally caught up to me so I've been slacking a little bit on my LOST watching. I'm still in season 5, but I'm on episode 10 or something so I'll get there. It just might be a few days before I can watch again. I've got some assignments I need to get done today and I'm working tomorrow. My life is so hard. The good news is that I'm teaching again tomorrow and the next day and I'm starting to have fun at the junior high instead of being nervous and not knowing what to do with myself. I think I'm actually going to miss those kids when I leave on Friday. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I'm actually a teacher and kids leave me after a whole year. I think that'll probably be uber depressing. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it though.

In the midst of all my homework and attempting to resist LOST, I've also been craving the pleasantries of summer. Look how happy I was (picture on the left). Oh, how I miss it. Swimming, road trips, getting tan, being tan, being in shape (which I'm going to start tomorrow rather than wait until summer), running outside (which I REFUSE to do in the winter), and just the general warmness and lack of clothing that we all get to enjoy. I would make a countdown to spring but you never really know when spring will start in Utah so I very well could be counting down to 25 degree weather and then be severely disappointed. So, instead of just wallowing in self pity thinking about how it's so cold outside and my life is so lame, I've decided to start my get-ready-for-summer exercise and diet program. Basically what that means is that I'm going to exercise and try not to eat too many chips and hamburgers. Hopefully that helps. We'll see.

Accomplishments

I've accomplished a lot since I last posted two days ago and I think those accomplishments should be acknowledged.. by me.. on my blog. They are as follows:

1. I finished LOST season 4

2. I had a much needed reunion with Mallory

3. I watched LOST season 5 episode 1, "Because You Left"

4. I traded in my desktop rental for a laptop rental and my entire world has been changed for the better

5. I watched LOST season 5 episode 2, "The Lie"

6. I wrote a lesson plan for 8th grade English and taught it, which was a lot of fun and the teacher I'm working with said I did a "fantastic job" (teaching junior high seems like it would be easy, and it wasn't rocket science, but I was nervous about it so this one is a legitimate accomplishment for me)

7. I watched LOST season 5 episode 3, "Jughead"

8. I had an In n Out shake

9. I watched LOST season 5 episode 4, "The Little Prince"

Impressive list, huh? Welcome to my life. I don't know what the deal is with me and lists lately, but it seems to be working for me. I'm sure it's just a phase and that I'll get over it, but you never know. Maybe lists will be my new thing.

LOST Update: I'm not sure how I feel about all this over-the-top time traveling. The fact that it keeps happening is starting to get annoying but it was pretty epic when Jin (who is STILL ALIVE) ran into Rousseau on the beach SIXTEEN YEARS EARLIER!! Other than that, Sawyer is still my favorite and I really don't see that changing in the near future. He would have to do something really ridiculous to make me switch to team Jack, and even then, I would probably just switch to team Desmond or Sayid or something anyway.

Real Life Update: Teaching junior high was the bomb. They were fun and nice to me. Also, this one girl said that "Miss Teacher(me) was prettitude." It's a compliment. You'd understand if you were 13. Solid. I'm going to try to get my professor to come in and watch me teach tomorrow so hopefully that goes well too. Also, there's only one more day until the weekend. I love three day weekends because not only is it a three day weekend, but then the next weekend is only four days away. Good work, Martin L.

How do you answer people's questions when they leave comments on your blog? I don't know.. so I'm dedicating the last few lines of this blog to that. Linsey, Erin is on the bandwagon. She's in season one right now and it wasn't even my doing. But LOST is an incredible show. Kellie, my resolutions last year, if I remember correctly, were to read the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price, to run a half marathon, to do my own taxes (and by that I meant give them to someone besides my dad to do), and the rest were kind of vague like "eat better" and "manage finances better" and so I just said I did them because I think I did better than the year before.

Sweet Dreams

I'm sorry to say that I think my blog has really been going downhill for the past couple months. Mainly because I haven't posted one thing. But also because the last few posts before the blogging famine were rather short and uninteresting. I sincerely apologize for this, since I know you all check my blog everyday just hoping there will be something new and fantastic to read. I will try to avoid writing an entire essay about what's going on in my life and limit it to a semi-short list to get you all caught up.

1. My new obsession is LOST. It's consuming my life, including my thoughts and my dreams. I think I've had more dreams about LOST in the last month than I've had about my real life and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that since mothering Sawyer's child was one of the best, but also most strange moments of my dream life. I am currently on episode 13 of season 4 and at the rate I'm going, I'll be done by the time the final season starts on February 2nd.


2. I started the English Teaching program at BYU and have been helping out a teacher at Oak Canyon Jr. High for the past week. I'm teaching once this week and once next week and then I will go to Lone Peak High School and help a teacher out there for three weeks. It's fun and I'm learning a lot, but I think I will enjoy high school more.

3. My running adventures have all but come to a halt because I hate cold weather, but I have ambitious plans for when it gets warmer out and I'm trying to keep in shape in the meantime.

That list was shorter than I anticipated. I guess my life is even less exciting than I thought. Oh well. There are worse things. To spice things up, following are this year's New Year's Resolutions that I may or may not actually do. (I was surprisingly good at doing them last year so my hopes are high.)

Becky's 2010 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Read the Old Testament and The Book of Mormon

2. Practice piano twice a week

3. Don't do homework on Sundays

4. Run a marathon

5. Stop swearing

I think all of these are attainable, except maybe #5 since I've already failed. But I have until the end of the year to break this habit, so I'll keep trying.

The King

I saw the Michael Jackson movie, "This Is It" a few weeks ago and he still had it.. up until the day he died. He is the king of pop. Respect.

Ghosts of Halloweens Past

Halloween is always a good time. I don't know what I'm going to be yet, but I'm sure it will be something epic. It always is. The last two years have been successes. Last year I was Miss Scarlet, along with Susan as Mrs. Peacock. Sammy was also Mrs. White, but unfortunately the rest of the crew bailed on us. Whatever. Notice the rope and the candlestick. If you and your friends are planning on being the Clue gang for Halloween, don't forget the weapons. Then the year before that, me and the roommates, Susan, Emily, and Sammy, and our dear friend Jessica, were the Spice Girls. You will see me featured here as Posh. I would have pulled it off better had I cut my hair but I wasn't willing to commit quite that much to the character so instead I just didn't smile all night. I think that made up for it. The sad news is that this year, I'm living with different people and so my roommates no longer want to do a joint costume, which is always a good time. So, I can't be a part of any girl groups of board game casts. Bummer. I'll probably end up being a cowgirl or something. Heaven knows I've got the hat for it. Besides hurting for a costume, I also find myself nearing middle age as I realize that I have no desire whatsoever to go to a halloween dance. A halloween dance sounds horrible to me. Maybe it's because I haven't been to one in a lot of years or maybe it's because I really do think they're stupid, but I do know that in my younger years, I was really able to kick up my heels on the dance floor. I tell you, my dance card used to be full. But not these days. These days I'd rather eat carmel apples and wish the little trick-or-treaters a happy halloween and send them on their way. Speaking of old people, now's as good a time as any to share a little story that I don't think I've ever shared with anyone. If you've heard it, I'm sorry. But I'd be willing to bet you haven't seeing as how it's a secret story that I've kept inside me since I was about 11 years old...

One Halloween night, I was out trick-or-treating with my friends Belinda and Michelle. It's possible Teah was there too. I don't really remember. But it doesn't matter. We were trick-or-treating and having the time of our little lives. I was probably a French maid or a witch or something. I don't really remember. The years of dressing up all kind of blend together for me now. But I was something awesome, I'm sure. Anyway, that's beside the point. We were walking the streets of Fullerton, knocking on doors and filling up our puffy painted pillow cases with all the sugary goodness we could get our hands on. There was always the houses of the dentists who gave us each a toothbrush, the houses in the rich neighborhoods that gave us each a king size candy bar... trick-or-treating gold..., the regular houses with the fun sized candy, the houses where candy had been left on the porch and some punk had taken it all, and the sweet houses with haunted mazes and things in the front yard. It was a typical, mystical, and magical Halloween night. As we were hard at work collecting goods for the weeks ahead until Thanksgiving and Christmas, we came to the house of an old man. He was sitting on his porch with a bowl of jelly beans. Still to this day, I feel something for this man. It almost brings me to tears just thinking about him. I don't know why the image of him sitting there has stayed with me so well, especially since I was only 11 when I saw him, but it really has. Everytime I think of trick-or-treating, I think of this man. He seemed lonely. He seemed to me to be a widower, and the fact that he was alone on his porch only encouraged that idea. He was so sweet as he gave us each some jelly beans with his shaking hands. He smiled and wished us a happy halloween. He seemed more sincere to me than anyone that night, and anyone since (at least on Halloween). It hurt me to know that most people wouldn't even eat his jellybeans because they weren't wrapped and we were told to throw away unwrapped candy. I really wanted him to know how much I appreciated his jelly beans, but being 11 didn't really know how. I'm not sure that I would be able to express my appreciation even today. But I will never forget that sweet man sitting on his porch handing out jelly beans. I don't even know how to explain why, but there was something about his gentleness and his grandpa-like smile that made me want the best for him. It also reminded me that even on a holiday as dark and scary as Halloween, we are here to help and serve each other, and that no man is truly alone.

Now you may have guessed by now that the reason I've never told anyone about that is because it's kind of weird. But, there it is. I was kind of a weird 11 year-old.

On a lighter note, the blue pumpkins up there were carved by me and my fhe group last night. The one on the left is the best because my group made it. That and it's got a mustache. This was the first year in a long time that I've carved pumpkins, but it was way fun. Also, the cat is a cat that decided to follow us home one night. I thought it was cute.. so there ya go. :) Happy Halloween everyone!

180 Miles of Pure Joy

Team Wayne's World - Ragnar Relay 2009 from baci on Vimeo.

It's been a little while but I don't have much time. I just wanted to share this fantastic video made by my friend and team member Brad. Me and 11 other people just ran Vegas Ragnar a few weeks ago and it was the time of our lives. Our team name was Wayne's World and we partied on. The people I knew on the team were Mallory, Brad, Sarah, Liz, and Katie, and I soon got to know good old Branden as well. It was a lot of fun. In other news, I got into the English Teaching program and will be starting classes and such in the winter. Also, this semester is going pretty well too... well so far anyway. I just got a midterm back today that I got a 94% on. Sweet! Anyway, enjoy. :)

You Made Him Love You

So you just had a bad day. Lots of working, lots of school, not enough sleep last night, and you really just need to take a load off and watch some TV. So that's exactly what you start doing when you get home. Then you get a text from some boy (or girl.. however you roll... this is an equal opportunity blog) who you think is pretty cool but doesn't give you butterflies or anything. He wants to do something.... at 11 o'clock at night.

You think to yourself, "I've been so busy lately and I've been promising him we'll hang out and I need a break. So why the heck not?" So, you text him back saying.. "Yeah I could probably do something. What do you want to do?" Then come the arbitrary responses such as, "Well we could go get ice cream or see a movie," which will inevitably result in you saying something like, "Well I'm really tired," or "Everything is closed, isn't it?" which ultimately leads you to the conclusion that the only thing to do is watch a movie at your place.

Congratulations. You two have successfully done the dance-around-actually-asking-for-it booty call confirmation. So now what? Well, what will most likely follow is you throwing on some last minute makeup and body spray (so as to not look like you're all dressed up for a movie night in but also enough to make you somewhat desirable) and waiting casually on the couch reading a book or getting some last minute studying in until that knock on the door sends a thrill through your stomach. (Now, this thrill seems at first like your excited about seeing this boy, but really is just a physical manifestation of your fear of how the night will unfold and the almost inevitable awkwardness that will ensue shortly. You've realized in this moment that there's really no turning back. This is going to happen. He is coming in in less than thirty seconds.) So up you get and you let the poor boy in. You exchange pleasantries, asking about how the homework is coming or how the day went and then decide upon a movie.

Now here is where the waltz gets a little bit more tricky. Whoever has the responsibility of putting in the DVD and getting it started (probably you since it's your apartment) is stuck with sitting down second. Bad spot to find yourself in. See, if you are the lucky one and get to sit down first, then you can pick any spot on the couch (if you're smooth, you'll pick somewhere in the middle so that the other person has a hard time avoiding you and if you're awkward you'll cling to one side because you really don't know what to do with yourself here... you're just there to watch a movie right?... right). It is then the responsibility of the second one to sit down to set the mood for the evening, or at least determine how far one or both of you have to go to get to where you really want to be. And, depending on the level of experience of both parties, this could take the entire movie.

Phew. You sat down about a foot away from him. Body language does the talking for the rest of the evening. Loaded, tense, and incredibly awkward body language. The part in between sitting on the couch and getting your cuddle on can go a number of different ways, some much more uncomfortable (both mentally and physically) than others. Ultimately, through all the shoving, tickling, strategically placed hands on legs and arms, and unnecessary giggling, you will end up cuddling. Cuddling positions is a topic for another day, and it is a topic that volumes could be written about in and of itself. So I'll spare you... for now.

Then come what I so fondly refer to as "the moves". You know that you probably shouldn't use your moves because you know this guy kinda likes you, but all guys want is nookie right? So no harm done. You bust out some of your semi-awesome moves (it's a well known fact that you save the best moves for later) and he tries out some of what are probably his best or almost best moves on you and what it leads to is either a lovely night of cuddling or a sweet make out sesh. For some, it's usually cuddling. So others, it's the latter. For some, it can lead to all sorts of inappropriateness. We'll not assign names to those three categories of people.

Nice. At least someone probably got what they wanted. The evening has been a success. Now onto the goodbyes. Goodbyes can be very telling. The generally accepted booty call goodbye is a short kiss or hug or simply getting up and leaving while the other person falls asleep on the couch. With this in mind, it's not surprising that you are a little shocked when you go to give him a hug goodbye and he gives you a kiss... on the forehead.

You know this is a little weird and not in keeping with the Booty Call General Handbook rules, but you brush it off and tell yourself that he's probably new at this and doesn't know the implications of his actions. So, your lover-for-the-night leaves and you snuggle up in bed for a good night's sleep, only to be woken up five minutes later by your phone going off. You roll over and check it and what do we have here? A text from lover boy saying something deliciously conducive to gagging such as, "Good night, sweet cheeks! :)" or "Sweet dreams, beautiful." You're a little annoyed but think it's sweet that he thought you would be hurt if he didn't send you an after make out text so you once again brush it off, put the phone down, and roll back over.

You do have sweet dreams, until in the morning you wake up to your phone singing that sweet symphony of love that is the alert of a text message from your new found cuddle buddy. He wishes you a good morning and says he hopes to see you again soon and it's then that you can no longer deny it and you come to the realization that... you made him love you. He's been thinking about you all night and basking in the glory of his new found love. Nice work. Too bad you were tired last night and kind of actually regret that last minute hang out come morning. But how do you tell him that?

This sad tale has been told to me too many times is the wonderful land of Provo and I'm afraid that I've encountered it myself on more than one occasion. There are so many of these poor little precious BYU souls getting a little too excited about a last minute cuddle fest or accidental make out (yes, sometimes it happens by accident even without alcohol). I've been thinking about these situations lately even though it's been a while since I've really been in one and I've decided that it's really difficult to avoid them. Of course you could make the "right" decision in the first place and tell your dear friend that you don't want to hang out with him at 11 o'clock, but sometimes you accidentally leave your common sense at school and don't pick it up again until the next day. Everybody does it at some point, and that's OK. You just have to be prepared to deal with the consequences.

In a normal society, these consequences would probably be something like pregnancy or STDs, but here in this magical land where all the naivety of the world congregates, the consequence is that you made him love you. Good luck breaking his poor little heart and finding someone who has actually read the handbook next time.

It's All Good

I have been incredibly busy lately.. ever since school started. At first, I FREAKED OUT a little bit because I was really just overwhelmed. It's hard to go from being able to play whenever you want and having money to do so to having just enough money to get by and having absolutely no time for anything but school and work, especially for someone as fond of playing as I am. It's taken me about three weeks to get back into the swing of things, which doesn't seem like that much, but when every second of your day is pretty much scheduled (or at least it should be), that's a long time. But, I think I'm finally doing alright. I will have been able to work a full work week and get most of my homework done by the time the week is over and I'm pretty pumped about it. I think with my old age I've become more responsible, or maybe I just realized that I'm not as lazy as everyone said I was back in high school so I stopped living up (or down) to thier expectations and started actually accomplishing things.

Speaking of accomplishing things, I think I actually might do something with my life! I know, right? Weird. But I think I will. I actually applied to my program finally and had an interview that I'm pretty sure went well since she really didn't ask me any questions... just explained the program to me and said I did well in my video and that she didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get in. Woohoo! I'm gonna teach high school!! Well.. I guess I still might not get in, but it's looking good so far. I don't know why I'm so excited about teaching a bunch of difficult kids how to read and write but I really really am. I can't wait to be doing work that I actually enjoy and that I feel is meaningful. Since my debut on the working scene as Chuck E. Cheese, I guess I just never really actually thought I'd be doing something that I wanted to.. but it looks like I'm actually going to get there and that's a pretty sweet feeling. I might actually get out of debt and be able to pay for my own life too.. which would be just fantastic. I know that teachers' salaries aren't the biggest, but they're definitely bigger than the tips I get at Los Hermanos so I'm pretty stoked about my first paycheck as a person with an actual career. Granted, that's not going to be for another two years, but still. I'm excited.

So, the busy-ness is just fine. A sense of accomplishment is definitely worth it to me. And, I've noticed a pattern in my adjusting to new situations. I tend to freak out and then become ridiculously and embarrassingly comtemplative and then work my way into a state of complete happiness when I realize that I'm doing my best and whether it works or not, I'm learning and growing and life is, at its most basic and most complex levels, very very good.

Heathcliff

..is the name of my new fish. Pictures coming soon. He's sexy. As sexy as a fish can be. And I love him. He's the closest thing to a child the universe will let me have because all I have to do is feed him once or twice a day and try not to tap on the glass, which is clearly all I'm capable of. Granted, me and Sammy have killed three fish in the past (two died for lack of oxygen and one we neglected over Christmas break). Oops. But I think this time will be different. I've spent the last year or two maturing a great deal so hopefully I'll be able to care for this little guy and give him all that he needs in life. I hope he can tell how much I love him. I'm sure he can. He must know. There's no way he couldn't. Maybe I'll just bring his little bowl over to the computer and let him read this. We'll see what happens.

But, I'm sure he realizes that I love him because I saved him from the horrible fish keeper at Walmart. He was living in a little 16 oz. tub thing and swimming amongst all his own poop. Also, the mean fish guy scared the crap out of me while I was tapping on the glass. He came out of nowhere whilst I was innocently trying to get the little fishies to move around with my love taps and said, "Do you know what happens when you tap on the glass?!" and proceeded to show me a bag of five or six dead fish. I ran and hid behind Michael. Not one of my proudest moments, but that fish guy was a JERK and I reverted to my girlie ways in a moment of desperation. That guy was a little too passionate about the fish he kept. Another example of this was when the other old guy that works at Walmart (there are only two) came to help us with the fish and was going to let Michael get his own fish out but old guy number one comes running and screaming (slight exaggeration) around the corner shouting, "You can't do that sir! You know better!" to the other old guy. Then old guy number one says to us, "The only way he'd be any dumber is if he were bigger!" What a bastard! (Don't worry, I don't get it either.)

A day later, my fish is living happily on my entertainment center despite my tapping and he's happy to be free of the weirdies at Walmart. Because I don't care what you say, all the weirdies work at Walmart. It's one of those things we don't like to talk about but that we all know. That and Dairy Queen. (Yes, I'm aware that one day I will be out of work and forced to work at either Walmart or Dairy Queen or both because of that comment, but it's a sacrfice I'm willing to make.)

My current jam is: Best I Ever Had by Drake (I recommend the edited version if you have small children or Mormons around).